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tv   Jimmy Kimmel Live  ABC  December 2, 2013 11:35pm-12:36am PST

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>> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight, orlando bloom, ufc champion ronda rousey, and music from the wild feathers, with cleto and the cletones! and now, here's jimmy kimmel! [ applause ] >> welcome welcome. thank you for watching. i appreciate that.
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thank you. that's very nice. you know, they say today's the biggest online shopping day of the year. it's cyber monday today. this is where the stores put their door buster deals on the web that way if you bust the door you have to fix it yourself because you're at home. this is a busy week for your wall e wallet. black friday, small business saturday, today was cyber monday and tomorrow is throw money at squirrels tuesday. sales are expected to be up 15% from last year. 131 million americans spent $2.27 billion online today and american companies lost about that same amount in productivity from employees who spent the whole day shopping online. no work got done today at all. online shopping is the future. there's no question about that. not just for the holidays. last night 60 minutes sat down
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with the guy who runs amazon and he announced plans for an amazing service he calls amazon prime air this is how it will work this is is a real video. when you order something from amazon that weigh five pounds or less, your package will be boxed in a small yellow container and that container will be -- will go over a farm. and using gps it will drop your package off on the doorstep of your home and then you go hey, there's my package with the robot. all part of amazon's pledge to drive your dog insane. isn't that crazy? you know in some countries seeing an unmanned drone means your village is about to be destroyed. in america it means you ordered mad men on blu-ray.
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the drones will allow amazon to make deliveries in 30 minutes or less. we will be on the phone with customer service rep saying where the hell is the drone. i ordered this thing an hour ago. hopefully they can attach pizzas on this. amazon has to get the faa to sign off on this. but jeff is not one to be underestimated. he is charismatic, he's bald, he has an army of flying robots. he might be a real life lex luther. he is definitely lex luther. i hope you had a good thanksgiving. i ate a lot. my eating style falls somewhere between cookie monster and slimer. the average american consumes 4500 calories on thanksgiving
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day and a company came up with a list to see how much you would have to work out. they say you can do 7.7 hours of running, 10.3 hours of hiking or 20.6 hours of bowling. i go with that. a big meal last night. i got hit the bowling alley pronto. i assume that bowling figure does not take into account the nine beers you drink while bowling. did you order chickens from boston market again this year? >> no. we cooked chicken. >> why chicken and not turkey? >> we don't like turkey too much. >> oh, okay. well turkey likes you. my favorite moment from thanksgiving this year was a very serious conversation i had with my mother in law who i will call mickey since that is her name. she is telling me she loves the show ncis: la. apparently there is is a very
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short woman on that show, she is like 4 feet tall and she beats ll cool jay in a race and my mother in law did not find that realistic. she said i don't think she could beat ll cool jay. based on what i have heard about her physically, i have to agree. i don't think she could beat ll cool jay either. i'm sorry if that offends anybody but that's just where i'm at on this now. al roker had to work on thanksgiving. his job was to interact with the celebrities in the audience and this interaction with betsy brandt is evidence that we have gone too far. >> what a great guy. and really funny. >> hash tag why are you thankful? >> god, so many reasons. >> you're not supposed to say hash tag. hash tag is like the upside down question mark at the beginning
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of a sentence in spanish. it's silent. they made him say it to heinz ward of the pittsburgh steelers. >> going to be a great match up. any time that pittsburgh goes into the lions den, it's hard. >> hash tag, what are you thankful for. >> if you say it outloud it's not a hash tag. i think it turns back into a pound sign. how pissed are the people at pound sign that they lost out on hash tag. hash tag now? hash tag buried. barbara walters revealed the contents of her list of the most fascinating people. robin roberts, jennifer lawrence, the cast of duck dynas dynasty, miley cyrus, kim kardashian and kanye west, edward snowden and pope frances. what an honor it must be for the
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pope. the other name that really stood out to me is prince george. prince george is is a baby. can you be fascinating if you yourself are fascinating by car keys jingling? barbara revealed nine of the names on the list. the final name will be revealed when the special airs on december 18. that name is? toronto mayor rob they had a game in toronto over the weekend and the mayor showed up. you know, he has been talking a lot about his new diet and workout program. but somebody got a picture of him. he keeps a chicken wing in his wallet in case he gets hungry. it's great. his brother, doug ford, says if rob comes back a new man 70 to
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80 pounds lighter he will win the next election. i guess he's not going to win the next election. maybe he will win the biggest loser. >> a new annual report called the youthful cities index which compares all the world's major cities has determined that toronto is the world's most youthful city. they judge on diversity, entertainment options, public spaces and does your mayor smoke crack. berlin was the second most youthful city. new york came in third and the world's oldest city, the world's least most youthful city? metamucilton,illinois. la was number eight. we may not be the most youthful city but we definitely have the most paralyzed foreheads here. i know a lot of you are here vacationing. did any of you in our studio audience wait in line for a
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black friday sale? there was a lot of black friday audience. i was always told that you can't put a life on human life but apparently it's $8.99. at a kohl's in illinois, one shopper was shot in the arm by police. in vegas, a man was shot in the leg. this happened around 2:30 friday morning in philadelphia where one of the come bbatants had th foresight to bring a stun gun. >> oh! oh! >> happy birthday, jesus. we're doing this for you. you know what? i have to say the lady with the stun gun just wanted it more. good for her. i believe that we can blame this
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black friday violence on one specific thing from our childhood and that is this -- that's right. p pi pinatas. if you hit something with a bat and fight hard enough you get candy. and then you become adults and think it's okay to do this. the black friday crowd, people were going ber zerk over 23 inch tvs. the lucky winners were able to set their tvs up just in time. i think this is why walmart hires 90-year-old greeters just to slow people down a little bit. watch out for grandpa. it was not just shoppers.
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wen wendy birch was at the glen dale h dale gal ree ya, a mall. and this happens. >> oh, wendy. >> those new shoes. >> oh, wendy. >> the local tv equivalent of being a war correspondent. but believe it or not that was not the most embarrassing thing wendy endured. normally people can't wait to get on the news. that was not the case on black friday. >> a lot of shoppers are here. let's see who we can talk to. sir? come back. come back here, sir. i can't believe he kept walking away. how are you? merry christmas. i see. come on. come with me. hi you guys. come over here. no, no, no. come over here. rats.
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excuse me, sir. this is unbelievable. all morning long we have been talking to tons of people. maybe this gentleman will talk to us. wait a minute, ma'am, wait. wait. wait. excuse me. can i talk to you really quick. you're the greatest shopper i have ever seen. when did you start? >> i don't speak english. >> she'll find somebody. we need to take a break. when we come back, we're going to have a look at the new kardashian christmas card. it's beautiful. and we will ask people out on the street if they had a fight with their family and some of them did. plus orlando bloom and music from the wild feathers, too. don't go away. hey, why didn't you get me from the hospital?
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i would like to show you the annual kardashian family christmas card. they apparently shot at back to the future ii. let's zoom in there. kim on the staircase dressed for winter with her snow globes appearing proudly. who is this here? sears portrait studio has really changed. is there one named cla mid ya?
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kendall. i'm sorry. on top of a magazine. somebody made a real mess there. and we have a mannequin there. what else? keep going. none of them are anywhere near each other. what is that in the glass there? is that -- oh my god, is that -- some hybrid of kenny g and bruce genre behind the glass. that is bruce genre. the kardashians actually seem to get along but not all families do which gave me an idea for tonight's pedestrian question. we asked people did you get in a fight with your family at thanksgiving. we will all try to guess whether thigh got in a fight with their loved ones or not. >> i'm deby from chicago. >> i'm from connecticut.
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>> did you get into a fight with your family at thanksgiving? >> did debbie and mona get in a fight with their family? everybody says yes. all right. one no. all right. >> we all fight. we all get together and have bickering going on. >> and she starts it. >> i do not. >> i'm the angel. >> no she's not. >> they almost fought right there. >> terrance. >> did you get into a fight with your family at thanksgiving? >> did terrance fight his family at thanksgiving? some yeses, but mostly noes. let's find out. >> no. we went out of state that way we didn't have to be with our family. we were on a cruise. >> they're in the ocean so unable to fight. all right next up. >> andrew williams from hollywood. >> did you get into a fight with
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your family at thanksgiving? >> yes. he killed all of them. all right. everyone says yes. let's see. >> not with my family. but my ex-wife. >> what happened? >> she threw a chair at me. >> he was married to hulk hogan for a while. threw a chair? all right. who else do we have? >> my name's david hunt, and i'm from here. venice beach. >> did you get into a fight with your family at thanksgiving? >> no. >> most -- there are a couple necessa yes, sirs but mostly noes. let's find out. >> did i get in afight? i have a dysfunctional family. plenty of fights about money. >> all right. what's next? >> my name is abraham. and i'm from la. >> did you get into a fight with
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your family at thanks giving? >> okay. amism guy. did he fight his family? >> no! almost everyone says no. >> hell yeah. >> about what? >> too much drama. >> things are really bad at his house. all right. who else do we have on the street? >> my name is james and i'm from la. >> did you get into a fight with your family? >> no. >> i wonder if he name is jay man or jaman. did he get in a fight? what did we say? about half and half on this one. >> yes. i did. >> what happened? >> somebody had too much to drink and decided to bring up old stuff and there we were.
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>> was that somebody you? >> i just -- i got caught in the middle of the cross fire. my uncle was on this side and for some reason, i don't know. maybe they both dated the same girl. i was just going to get me something to drink. i don't know what happened. and next thing you know, i got clocked in the eye. >> all right. that's a fight. we have one more. >> i'm from louisiana. >> did you get in a fight with your family at thanksgiving? >> wow. okay. all right. let's see a fresh face young nicholas get in a fight with his family? >> no. i don't really like my family. >> you don't like them? >> no. >> but you didn't get in a fight with them? >> no, because arguing with stupid people is pointless.
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>> all right, all right smarter than me. there you have it. five out of seven families fight on thanksgiving. tonight on the show. from the ufc, "rowdy" ronda rousey is here, we have music from wild feathers, and we'll be right back with orlando bloom. stix stick around. my boyfriend has a lot of can't-miss moments. i checked out the windows phones and saw the lumia 1020 has 41 megapixels. so i can zoom way in even after i take the picture. and i can adjust the shot before i take it so i get it exactly how i want. so, i went with a windows phone. maybe i just see things other people don't. ♪ honestly ♪ i wanna see you be brave
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♪ ♪ shopping for gifts online. ♪ the perfect way to get into the spirit any time. ♪
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♪ pose! yeah! ♪ flash! yeah! ♪ get the family to strike a pose, ♪ ♪ and show off your brand new clothes! ♪ ♪ that's my kind of holiday.
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>> tonight on the program, defending his fam tom weight title. roudy rhonda rousey is here with us. guillermo, she said she wants to fight you. is that ok? >> no way. >> jimmy: and then, with music from their self-titled album. from nashville, the wild feathers from the sony stage. tomorrow night, zoe saldana will be here. mike birbiglia will be with us. and we'll have music from toro y moi. and later this week, jason schwartzman, benedict cumberbatch, from "scandal" - guillermo diaz, and we'll have music from jake owen and the one and only r. kelly. >> jimmy: our first guest is a fine actor whose movies have
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grossed more than 2.3 billion dollars. and that doesn't even include middle earth; he returns to the role of legolas greenleaf in "the hobbit: the desolation of smaug" which opens in 3d december 13th, please welcome orlando bloom. [ applause ] >> i don't know if you're aware of this, but here in the united states, swrewe have a city name orlando. >> i wasn't aware of that. i always wanted to go as a kid. i had a cap when i was a kid. orlando magic. my mom said i have orlando magic. she still does. >> that does annoy you? >> now i kind of love it.
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>> does everyone call you orlando? that seems like a lot of syllables to go through. >> my best friends lived next door to me growing up and they were irish. they were like lando and landy lou. they turned it into landy lou, you coming over? we worked with liv tyler on the lord of the rings, actually. and i remember for the lord of the rings i had the blond wig and they had to raise my hairline. i had a fuller head of hair on that movie. and i remember liv sitting next to me and i said should i get a mow hawk. and she was like oh, olli, that would look so cute. you should definitely get a mohawk. and i was like shave it off. >> would you mind if i call you
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orli? >> what should i call you, then? >> jimmy. >> jay? >> not jay. >> you have been living in new york because you're doing a play on broadway right now. >> yeah. >> and then you get to -- >> very conquered. there is only one week left, please come to see it. >> are you dark tonight? >> we are. >> that works out beautifully. you have the movie premier right across the street. >> i came all the way to see you. >> have you seen the movie yet? >> no. i'm looking forward to it. it's always a treat with peter jackson. the magic he creates when he walks on set and i eem hanging upside down with wires and things and i wonder what this is going to turn out like. >> are you one of the guys who read the books? >> i read the hobbit.
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i got part way through the lord of the rings. >> you were too handsome to read. i read the whole damn thing. so, from what i understand, your character is not in this particular book, but they took some creative license and put your character in this movie? >> it's true. >> does that cause a rift in the sci-fi world? >> i don't know. does it? i was a little concerned about how that would play out for obvious reasons. what we achieved with lord of the rings is amazing. peter really understands this world and i think he's got one eye on the fans and the people who are real fans of the movie and one eye on making it a successful fantastic movie. >> he's got two eyes, this guy,
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then. which is per ffect for a direct. >> for a director it's really handy. >> can you explain this? that is joan rivers. >> isn't she lovely. she tweeted this photograph, i think? >> did she? >> welcome orlando bloom. she's standing outside your house? >> turns out we live in the same neighborhood. i have had some issues with photographers outside the house every now and again. >> so she decided to tell everyone? >> i think she wanted to do this. she wanted to make sure that everyone knew. >> apparently it is and she gave it to the paparazzi. >> have you considered putting a mote around the building? have you met joan? >> actually, i did a response and i said thanks for the welcome, please come see me on broadway and she did.
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move over, i'm the real juliet, you might have to let the kos sum out a bit. >> you have an elderly stalker. >> jimmy: more with orlando bloom when we come back. ♪ shopping for gifts online. ♪ the perfect way to get into the spirit any time. ♪
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♪ pose! yeah! ♪ flash! yeah! ♪ get the family to strike a pose, ♪ ♪ and show off your brand new clothes! ♪ ♪ that's my kind of holiday.
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>> tell us what you know and i will set you free. >> why? >> a dwarf runt will never be king. >> there is no king under the mountain, nor will there ever be. >> you know nothing. your world will burn. >> i think they did a really good job with bringing that movie to life and what in my preteen head i imagined it would be like. i never felt disappointed. >> he's got this world in his head so clearly it's amazing. >> you shot two movies in a row? >> we did. three. it was two and then they made it three. i was there on and off for about eight months.
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>> i know you have this big premier? >> i do. >> we were talking over the commercial about ronda rousey. do you watch women fighting? >> there is nothing wrong with watching women fighting. >> no, there isn't. >> i would like to -- >> you used to do it? >> right. yeah. >> well, you're more than welcome to stay and fight. >> i would like to. she looks like a lethal weapon. >> she is. orlando bloom, go see his movie. "the hobbit: the desolation of smaug" opens in theaters december 13th. we'll be right back with ronda rousey.
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>> hi there. music from the wild feathers. there is no woman i'd rather go black friday shopping with than our next guest. she is a dangerous individual, and on december 28th, she defends her bantam weight title at ufc 168, live on pay-per-view. please welcome "rowdy" ronda rousey. thank you for coming. it's good to have you here. >> it's kind of cool to be here. >> it's cold in the studio right now. kind of freezing. but i wanted to ask you about thanksgiving dinner when you're training for a fight. do you have to be careful? or you don't care or what? >> i really have to watch it. i have the lowest body fat. >> not lower than me and
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guillermo. >> i have like one ice cube or something. so i actually could eat something but i had to keep it like turkey and cabbage. >> what is there to give thanks for if you're eating an ice cube? >> thanks that i'm not in the dehydration stage. >> very interesting. your mom taught you how to fight? >> yeah. she was -- she actually was the first world champion from the u.s. and sheer to her knees up at 17. and she was the first real woman to really excel on the ground. the referees didn't like her. make it stand up. if you move a person with one arm you should lose anyway. >> kind of your signature move. all of your fights have ended
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with that. it's a submission hold right? >> yeah. >> and you do this move which i think wassel traited well. are these chickens or turkeys? >> i think they were chirkens. >> that's how you do the arm bar. >> i cross my ankles. some say it's wrong but i think it's right. >> as you pull their arm out of the socket and beat them over the het with it? >> no. my mom would actually say something like that. >> she would? >> she's not the cuddly type. >> how did she train you? would she randomly beat you? >> kind of randomly. her thing was always be ready. sometimes she would wake me up in the morning and be like you have to do an arm bar right now.
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she would jump on me and i would have to do one. >> she would attack you? >> she would attack me in my leap. >> it worked. i would be watching tv and stuff like that. always be ready. thanksgiving my back was to the wall. >> is she doing this any more? you should do this to her well into her old days. she's got a grand new knee. >> take it out. i need to be ready for her. >> do you have siblings? >> three sisters. >> did she do this with all of you? >> no. they were all really excelled in their own fields. but like she found a way to get
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her tips in. my sister went off to nyu to get a degree in journalism. when most moms turn their kids, this is when you put the fabric sachber in. you're a little girl. you get in a bar fight, pick up a chair and swing it around. that way you got a really good shot. and my sister is like all right, mom, thanks. see ya. >> wow. that's something else. would you ever fight a man? would i? >> like in a match. not in the street. >> i mean. it's happened. >> in the street it's happened? >> what happens? >> well, i was watching juno. not a movie that inspires violence. >> just one letter off from judo. >> that's exactly what happened. a rude group of people in the
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theater. this one girl who was wearing like a mini skirt and uggs put her two little boots on the side of my -- knocking me in the head. they were the group of rude people shouting the whole movie. and so at the end, it wanted to wait. i wanted to see how it ended. after the movie was over and i grabbed the girl's boot and threw it and i said you need to talk to your mom about getting some manners. i looked like a girl that day. so my friends edged out and i'm wearing like a dress and sandals and stuff. like juno night. you go all out. so they like edged me off so they got the high ground -- >> tried to keep you? >> they cut me off and my friends went past me.
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they made it impossible to get around me. the gifl's boyfriend was like you need to get that boot. and i was like she can get her manners and that boot together and i was already thinking about my disclaimer. i'm going to try to get past you. if you do not let me i'm going to have to do something about this. and then i tried to get past again and the guy pushed me and i grabbed him by the shirt and i started punching him with one hand. it's not over yet. and his friend came behind me and i had his friend here and i threw the one guy over my shoulder and my two friends, my best friend was with me. she grabbed one of the guys and held him. my cousin does karate. it was a group of like four couples.
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the girl whose boot i threw. and those girls just sat right back down. everyone else was standing there and just applauding. and they were like yes, somebody did something. >> i wonder if those guys have ever told that story again. >> the police called me laughing. >> they were like we got to hear this. >> you have definitely got a lawsuit there. >> congratulations on all of your success. >> thank you. the last time you beat this
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opponent. >> i took the tight frl her originally. >> and now she's coming back. are you going put her in the arm bar? >> i never limit myself to one finish. i leave it open. >> in the ring or at the movies. >> improvising at all times. >> very good to meet you. ron ronda rousey. 'ufc 168' is december 28th, live on pay-per-view. when we come back, music from the wild feathers.
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he loves me. he loves me not. he loves me. he loves me not. ♪ he loves me! that's right. [ mom ] warm and flaky in 15, everyone loves pillsbury grands! [ girl ] make dinner pop! [ female announcer ] holiday cookies are a big job. everything has to be just right. perfection is in the details. ♪ pillsbury cookie dough. make the holidays pop!
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>> jimmy: i'd like to thank orlando bloom, ronda rousey, and apologize to matt damon, we ran out of time. nightline is next, but first this is their self-titled album, here with the song "the ceilin"" the wild feathers. good night! ♪ ♪ wood burnin' up on the hill ♪ ♪ cedar drawer full of pills
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and it's quiet like snow through the tree ♪ ♪ well i did what i did and i didn't mean anything ♪ ♪ where you come from and where you go ♪ ♪ who you talk to and who you know ♪ when you're lying in fields of green ♪ ♪ and i did what i did and i didn't mean anything ♪ ♪ the sunrise dry eyes red morning ♪ ♪ smoke stacks old hats i'm still learning ♪ ♪ i don't know how
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i got this far down where's the ceiling ♪ ♪ i don't know how i got this far down where's the ceiling ♪ ♪ her eyes are wide open right out of her head yeah ♪ ♪ 'cause she's cleared of a crime ♪ ♪ that she could not commit no ♪ ♪ well i did what i did and i'd do it all over again ♪ ♪ ♪ i remember everything little girl learning to sing ♪ ♪ because she's crying all over me ♪ ♪ well i did what i did and i didn't mean anything ♪ ♪ the sunrise dry eyes red morning ♪ ♪ smoke stacks old hats i'm still learning ♪ ♪ i don't know how
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i got this far down where's the ceiling ♪ ♪ i don't know how i got this far down where's the ceiling ♪ ♪ her eyes are wide open right out of her head yeah ♪ ♪ cause she's cleared of a crime ♪ ♪ that she could not commit no ♪ ♪ well i did what i did and i'd do it all over again ♪ ♪ we we should be easy ♪ ♪ we should be easy we should be ♪ ♪ we


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